Tomorrow… I’ve been dreading it and a black cloud has settled over me for the past few days. I’m going back to work after six long weeks at home.
I shouldn’t be worrying about it this much; I’ve taught this year group before when they were younger so I know most of their personality quirks and how to manage them in the classroom. I also know the pressures of being in Year 6 and getting them ready for their end of year SATs. My classroom is organised after spending time in there over the summer and I’ve done the majority of the medium term planning for the term as well.
Yet there’s a niggling feeling in the back of my mind worrying about how the year is going to go – I’ve been having very realistic dreams about classroom events for the past week. I’m determined not to get dragged into the staff room politics, even if it means hiding in my classroom every lunchtime. I’m determined to get all my work done at school and walk out of the door at 6pm leaving everything behind (I can try!) so I’m less stressed at home. I’m determined to stay on top of my ever growing marking pile.
I think what I’m most annoyed about is the fact that I don’t feel I can be myself at school. I’m so worried about making sure this bit of paperwork is done or that this ridiculous new government initiative is implemented in time that I don’t feel relaxed in the classroom any more. As a profession we are constantly looking over our shoulders for the dreaded Ofsted and it shouldn’t be like that. We should be able to use our own professional judgement in deciding what the kids in our classroom actually need.
And breathe…… must stop letting myself get so worked up about things too. My Mum had a favourite saying as we were growing up:
‘Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday’
Wise words – don’t tell her I said that 😉 I’ll remember that and another favourite: ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, either that or I’ll come home and make bread – great for getting rid of the frustrations of the day!
See other entries under the same theme at Sunday Scribblings
Keeps Me Out Of Mischief! 
Going back to work after 6 weeks of basically starting a new life is essentially going backwards in time, which is rather disconcerting.
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I think that’s part of the problem. I’ve found so many other things to do during the holidays that I don’t know how I’m going to have time to work!
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Good luck – but enjoy and I’m sure your fun filled spirit will be contagious 🙂
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Thanks, will have to remember to take my ‘fun-filled spirit’ with me in the morning! 🙂
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I’m experiencing the same feelings too. I don’t teach, but I have been out sick for a few weeks and on Wednesday probably have to go back to work too. My job is nowhere near as stressful as yours and already I feel like I’ve just recovered, why do I have to go back, I haven’t enjoyed my “relaxation!”
Anyway, I’m so pleased you stopped by my blog, yours is great! I’ve now subscribed 🙂
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Thanks for subscribing! I find blogging is a great way to relax and concentrate on something other than work. 🙂
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Thanks for your comment on my blog, the scones were lovely! I hope going back to work is not as awful as you are thinking it will be. I am going back after nearly 2 weeks off and don’t want to, so I can’t imagine how it feels for you. I will take a look through your recipes and maybe make a few things. Jane : )
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Thanks, it wasn’t too bad. The anticipation was definitely worse than the reality!
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In the last break you were telling how you were preparing for the new term, and yet clearly there was that niggling feeling that you weren’t quite comfortable in the teaching environment. You loved the job and the interaction with the children by being an important part of their development. Yet now you are letting job politics and government initiatives wear you down when the job should be more rewarding without those worries. Perhaps you need to create a new persona that is above all that so that both you and the children are the winners.
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A very good point – I’m determined to go in with a positive frame of mind and smile on my face tomorrow when the kids start.
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