Tomorrow… I’ve been dreading it and a black cloud has settled over me for the past few days. I’m going back to work after six long weeks at home.
I shouldn’t be worrying about it this much; I’ve taught this year group before when they were younger so I know most of their personality quirks and how to manage them in the classroom. I also know the pressures of being in Year 6 and getting them ready for their end of year SATs. My classroom is organised after spending time in there over the summer and I’ve done the majority of the medium term planning for the term as well.
Yet there’s a niggling feeling in the back of my mind worrying about how the year is going to go – I’ve been having very realistic dreams about classroom events for the past week. I’m determined not to get dragged into the staff room politics, even if it means hiding in my classroom every lunchtime. I’m determined to get all my work done at school and walk out of the door at 6pm leaving everything behind (I can try!) so I’m less stressed at home. I’m determined to stay on top of my ever growing marking pile.
I think what I’m most annoyed about is the fact that I don’t feel I can be myself at school. I’m so worried about making sure this bit of paperwork is done or that this
ridiculous new government initiative is implemented in time that I don’t feel relaxed in the classroom any more. As a profession we are constantly looking over our shoulders for the dreaded Ofsted and it shouldn’t be like that. We should be able to use our own professional judgement in deciding what the kids in our classroom actually need.
And breathe…… must stop letting myself get so worked up about things too. My Mum had a favourite saying as we were growing up:
‘Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday’
Wise words –
don’t tell her I said that 😉 I’ll remember that and another favourite: ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, either that or I’ll come home and make bread – great for getting rid of the frustrations of the day!
See other entries under the same theme at Sunday Scribblings