Day 19: Apply Yourself

Describe your last attempt to learn something that did not come easily to you.

You’d think that after eighteen years of teaching I’d know how to look after children. Well, yes I do, but only if I can give them back at the end of the day. Having your own is a different kettle of fish entirely.

I wasn’t one of these naive people who thought that they could go on living their life as normal even though they’d had a baby, neither was I a person who was going to change their life completely, I thought I’d be somewhere in the middle.

Truth be told, I probably am, but this parenting lark hasn’t come easily. I know I’ve made it more difficult by going back to work full time and I think this is the hardest thing I’ve had to learn recently – balancing my heavy workload as a teacher and being the best mummy I can be. I make mistakes and I’m sure my colleagues curse me as I walk out the door at 4.30, but that’s when it becomes mummy time until he’s in bed then I can hit the work again.

The decision to return to work full time was not taken lightly; fantastic support from my family with childcare made the decision easier and a short period of working part time (or not because I couldn’t let things go) made me realise that we would actually be better off if I were working full time.

There are weeks where I question my decision; a very difficult class this year means that I question my desire to teach rather than my decision to work and weeks where I end up with a lot of late meetings means that my wonderfully organised routine topples like a house of cards. Then there’s weeks like last week where I wonder around in a slight daze due to lack of sleep.

Fortunately it is getting easier as the sprog gets older and gradually more independent. Let’s just hope this continues!

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